Space Quest Omnipedia


He is a novice at Crazy Eights, Cribbage, and Hearts. He is an amateur at Gin Rummy.


  • Okay, first I get the Star Generator, and then...w-where am I? Hey, YOU! Listen, I'm Roger Wilco, the Space Quest hero! How did I end up in this Hoyle program? You have to help me get out of here!
  • Now that I think about it, I'm certain that the Pirates of Pestulon are behind this. They've wanted to get even with me for a long time.
  • Those Software Pirates have hated me ever since I rescued the Two Guys from Andromeda from the lime jello. They're probably behind this.
  • You have to help me get out of here! Do you realize what nefarious deeds Sludge Vohaul could be plotting while we sit here playing cards?
  • Then again, Sludge Vohaul could have masterminded this. I'm sure that evil genius could have figured out a way to trap me in a card game.
  • Listen, if you get me out of this Hoyle game, I'll give you an authentic autographed Roger Wilco pulseray!
  • I've played alot of cards when I was working as a starship janitor. Well, when I was supposed to be working, anyway!
  • I played a great card game with a Voltaren Mind Bender once. I just wish I could remember it.
  • Ya you can't have too many buckazoids, that's my motto!
  • I'm always running short on Buckazoids, myself. Maybe you could advance me a few on my next paycheck, hey Colonel? I won't make a habit of it, though!
  • I think you've got the right idea, Jerry. Without a spaceship, how can you get to Monolith Burger for lunch?
  • I've flown a few spaceships, myself. Sure beats driving a '57 Chevy.
  • Hey, Warren, I know I'm real, even if you aren't.
  • Look, if you're the programmer, you should know how to get me out of this and back into Space Quest!
  • I've met a few interesting ladies myself. Like that green-haired Sarien commander, the one who tried to disintegrate me when we first met....
  • Did I tell you about that green-haired Sarien commander? What an amazing lady. I hope I'll meet her again someday....
  • My grandfather's a freightor pilot. He's real proud of me...his grandson, an intergalactic hero!
  • My grandfather and I used to play cards on the bridge of his space freightor when I was a kid. I always enjoyed that.
  • Hey! Won't you help me get out of this game? I'm supposed to be saving the universe from cloned insurance salesman!
  • Listen, you've got to let me out of this game program, so I can get back to saving the universe from alien invaders!
  • I wish I could get out of this Hoyle program and get a Monolith Burger.
  • I had a run-in with Xenon cops, a few years back. Almost lost my pilot's license over it.
  • Yea, Xenon cops and I go 'way back. After I nearly hit that police hovercraft, and then barely missed the Mayor aircar....
  • I never was much for that higher mathematics stuff, myself.
  • Mathematics gives me a headache, y'know?
  • I can't believe this! You're talking about quests, and I'm still trapped in this stupid program!
  • Look, babe, can't you talk about some way to get me out of this game instead of this questing stuff?
  • I had a dog I liked once, in a Xenon restaurant. But I think they overcooked it.
  • I like dogs a lot. They're a specialty of Xenon restaurants, you know.
  • I'd like to go to college, be something more than just a starship janitor. Maybe I could study extradimensional physics.
  • Sometimes I wonder what kind of career I'd have, if I had gone to college instead of taking that job on the Arcadia. I'd be more than a janitor, that's for sure...
  • Shrimp? That sounds good. I'm always hungry for one of those seven foot Sarien shrimp, myself. Just have to make sure it's really dead before you bite into it....
  • All this talk about food makes hungry for a Monolith Burger.
  • Daventry sounds like an interesting place. If I ever get out of this Hoyle program, I'd like to visit there.
  • All of this Daventry stuff sounds kinda familiar. Something about a 'Don't Touch' button, somewhere....
  • I got to a lot of sensory movies on Xenon. 'Steve Spaceblaster and the Fantastic Feline Females of Fendom,' that was a classic.
  • Have you ever seen a sensory movie, Diane? Maybe we can go see one together in Xenon City, after we finish this game.
  • I'm not much into sports. Too much work.
  • I get most of my exercise running away from Sludge Vohaul's troopers and my fan club.
  • I read all the time, especially when I'm supposed to be washing starship floors. 'Steve Spaceblaster and the Warrior Women of Warxwurfx,' that was one of my favorites.
  • Have you read 'Steve Spaceblaster and the Sorority Girls of Snarfleblax'? Great book. I'm into serious literature, you know.
  • I hiked through the mountains of Warfwurfx once. Never managed to meet up with any of those native warrior women, though.
  • The mountains of Warfwurfx are really beautiful. And I'll bet you don't have Warfwurfx warrior women in the Sierra Nevadas.
  • You want me to play Crazy Eights with you? Me, the great intergalactic hero? Really, this is embarassing.
  • I guess I'll play with you, if you really want. But wouldn't you rather help me get back into Space Quest?
  • Now you pick the suit. I can't believe this, I'm stuck playing cards while Sludge Vohaul is conquering the universe!
  • I won! Now if only I can find a way to get out of this game and back to my starship....
  • Hey, I won! Of course, when your a starship janitor, you have lots of time to practice playing cards....
  • After all those years of playing cards when I was suppposed to be sweeping starship floors, I still can't win a card game....
  • I guess if I'm trapped in this Hoyle program, I might as well enjoy myself. A game of Hearts would be kinda fun.
  • Sure I'll play with you. It's better than than sitting here, trying to figure out how I ended up in this program.
  • Of course, as a famous intergalactic hero, you'd expect me to win, right?
  • You have to follow in suit! Did you swap brains with a defective android this morning or what?
  • Okay, I'll play Gin Rummy with you, but then I want OUT of this program! I have a universe to save, y'know?
  • Gin Rummy? You want me to play Gin Rummy with you, while Sludge Vohaul is conquering the universe! I have to get out of here!
  • I can't play while the Sariens are invading Xenon, my home planet! Well, maybe just one game....
  • Playing Cribbage reminds me of all those times I was supposed to be vaporizing trash and sweeping starship floors....
  • Sorry, that's as illegal as parking in orbit.